The irony, ask me, 'where have you been?'

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know where to begin.

SO Hat Yai

What a fabulous day of a meditative urban run, clean streets, a grocery store experience involving AVOCADOS and STOUT BEER and REESE'S - the things I was most craving for getting back to the States. Man, these mainland days are rough when you try to stock up on all the food that you've been severely deprived of.
Tomorrow is Malaysia, another approximately 12 days on a peaceful island, finishing class, DIVING - which terrifies and fascinates me at the same time. There are so many different worlds all part of one big world, oh man. Still no idea where I fit in and what my role is. The main lesson of traveling - when you think you know anything is when you know the least. About yourself, about humanity, about the world.

Good night!

Time is skin, not a dress

3 am, I am lying in a tent on Adang Island in southern Thailand, listening to the water caress the shore just several feet outside of my tent, inhaling the smell of leaves freshly washed by the evening storm. My tent was one of the few that held out, knock on wood, through the violent wind gusts and moderate downpour that made up our evening entertainment. Oh tent, you've been through so much with me, and you are getting only moderate beat up after three years of faithful service. Everything sounds pretty darn perfect, right? Then why do I find myself dedicating hours to daydreaming about silly things that are America? Cravings for Guinness and avocados aside, I found myself missing commuting the other day-time spent alone in your car. I miss cooking for myself. I miss Windexing the bathroom mirror on Sunday morning. Due to the incredible personalities of everyone on our program, the self-imposed lack of 'me time' has made me nostalgic for the solo activities that keep you from being overwhelmed in a buzzing crowd of people. And I'm realizing that the thing about impermanence is not so much a tangible lack of settling, but more the inability to build layers upon layers of good memories since you know you'll be moving on soon, possibly forever. The draw to familiar places is the rich multitude of happiness you can re-experience and build on every time you revisit the place. For what is reality anyway but a collection of perceptions?

Dear Bay Area Graduate Schools:

(To the tune of O-Town's All or Nothing):

I know that you've been through my files,
Your silence makes me agonize
Compared to Boulder realize,
You're slower, slower.

This waiting life you make me live,
Your answer you have got to give!
Cause sweating in this web cafe gets older, older.

When I applied to you
How could I know you would think for half a year?

I've sent my best to you, I want to invest in you, don't tell me you don't care!

Cause I want it all,
I wanna start this fall,
I'm waiting for your call,
It's now or never.

Am I in, or am I denied?
I need peace of mind.

more to come. ridiculous, I know. I wrote it on Valentine's Day.

In other news: Thailand rocks, except for the bugs and the sweating. Is it making me more patient? Is it character building? Do I feel like I'm living in a universe where the absence of sweating is impossible?

Internet is really expensive here so I will cut it off at that. We are hanging out on Lipe Island for the afternoon, across from Adang, where we are staying for a week total.

Thinking of getting my scuba certification after the program. Who would have guessed?!

Dear Wonderwall,

There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how.
Why?
Thailand is sort of melting my brain.
It's amazing, don't get me wrong, but after about five hours walking around in the heat when you were actively sweating just as a consequence of being alive, any remotely literary contribution I may have had to add to the blogging world seems to have evaporated.
The highlight of my day slash life was definitely going to the water treatment plant with Jessica and Patricia and attempting to ask them for a tour. The lady proceeded to explain at length how to pay our water bill. We eventually understood what she was saying and tried to explain that we are not residents, we are just tourists, Patricia asks if they have a toilet, the lady continues to tell us to call some number as we all start losing it from laughing (me especially). The lady gives us the water bill to keep and circles some number we have to call, and says to come back when we know how much we owe. We remove ourselves from the building and take five so I can stop crying and hyperventilating from laughter, typical. Don't think my explanation does it justice but it was hilarious. I highly recommend doing scavenger hunts like this when you tour places. Next up was inquiring about the visa application process at the embassy of Zaire but unfortunately, we never found it.

Class is starting soon, but two more things that need to be said:
-I miss Nepal dearly. I don't know what it is about it, and Chris hinted at the same elusive quality by saying things like "aw, don't talk about it, I miss home"! but I have such warm memories for everyone I met there, warm and made slightly spiky by the fact that I am now removed from the beautiful place and its beautiful residents. So, love to Nepal, see you again.
-I am learning a lot about communicating with people who don't speak the same language as you. Not in terms of having conversation or anything but getting a couple of basic things across, or figuring out whether or not they are understanding. Clearly that is a consequence of traveling for a long time, but it was cool to notice that I am starting to learn a technique for it.
On the note of communication, BOY is my English deteriorating.

OK time to learn woo!

Fabulous Thailand

My second day in Chiangmai and the retail therapy, spa experiences* (oh boy, more on that later) and lack of dust have helped the culture shock rapidly vanish.

When I first landed in Bangkok, I felt as disoriented as I predicted I would feel when being back in the States. Where is the dust? I know it exists, where did they put it? Everything is so easy! Everyone looks so well off and it's not fair to the people who aren't! I better remember that I can't throw orange peels on the ground anymore!

Well, I'm not sure how much of that was culture shock and how much was being dazed and amazed that I made it here on schedule at all.

Because, SURPRISE! Guess who gets food poisoning on their last day in Nepal.

Guess who almost misses their flight because I can't move or get out of bed.Guess who spends an hour throwing up on the airplane AGAIN. Sound familiar? Sounds like last year!! Maybe it's a physical reaction to culture shock.

Anyway, it was a 24 hour thing once again, maybe I just have a physical reaction to impending culture shock, WTF.

Landed in Bangkok, got driven in a car with seat belts to my $24 hotel which had AIR CONDITIONING, 24 hour electricity (no more load shedding woo), a balcony with a view, free water, and a pristine bathroom. I got in t 8:50 PM, admired the view briefly out of my balcony and made the executive decision that I was not going anywhere except sleep. So I took a lukewarm shower, marveling at the fact that I wasn't freezing and the cool ish water felt nice, and passed out in my bed, briefly reflecting on the fact that I was eyebrows-to-the-sky psyched to be sleeping without a wool hat or long sleeves for the first time in months.

Flew to Chiangmai the next day and was still totally dazed when I met up with Chris. After mailing the rest of my warm clothes home from the airport, we managed to stuff both of my huge backpacks and two people on a motor bike and headed to his wonderful home. I got to meet Tingting, went out to lunch with some people, and then my spa adventures began.

I am walking down the street looking for a pedicure or maybe leg waxing, something a normal person would start with when transitioning from four months of long pants to a less conservative beach culture. But noo, I happen to sign up for a Brazilian wax at the first place I get a good vibe from. Dear bikini and beyond, here's some scalding hot wax followed by hair ripping by the follicle, WELCOME TO THAILAND! 

The whole thing took about an hour, done by two female staff. I could have definitely stayed for a back or foot massage after but left as to not have them think I was flirting with them or looking for special services.

I decided then that I would never do it again, but my memory is quickly fading and I am thinking it was not quite so bad. 

The pedicure is still on the list.

Today I spent a couple of hours at immigration then found a fabulous cafe with a fast, free computer, and now I am doing research on dating and romance in Thailand for my presentation. Fun?

Other activities have included buying shoes and failing to meditate for three days now.

Dear Self-Improvement, how have you been replaced with Bridget Jones-esque motives so quickly?

KTM solo

Woke up at 6 today, moved out of my lovely room, and got dropped off at the tourist bus park to begin my journey to Kathmandu. The 'conductor' wanted to sell more tickets so he had me switch places with a little kid whom he asked to sit up front near the driver. Well, the kid lasted all of ten minutes there before he came back and crammed into the seat next to mine in his sister's lap, so being the good samaritan that I am, I offered to take shotty. BEST DECISION EVER. Sort of. Had the best view and got to chill with some Nepali trekking guides instead of being subjected to the mind numbing conversations the large American tour group was carrying on in the main part of the bus. Got to make faces at the two adorable little girls who got on the bus later. The bad part? Being mad creeped on by the younger of the trekking guides, who WOULD have something going for him if he did not say that since I like kids so much, we can get married and make babies. OK buddy, a little forward? I've known you for 20 minutes, now? Anyway, got off the bus and got a room in the guest house I really wanted in Paknajol. No idea why I was craving this guest house which is sans hot water and was totally locked by the time I got back from dinner, so I had to climb over a somewhat sharp edged fence. Adventure? But it's cute and the blanket is incredibly warm and I got a home vibe from the manager, so I'm really psyched to be staying here. The first thing I did after checking in was get lost in literally a 400 meter stretch of Thamel for close to 2 hours. If you've been to Ktm, you'll understand that while this requires a lot of talent, it is not impossible. What a lesson in patience to keep from screaming, 'I DON'T WANT A FUCKING RICKSHAW!' every five minutes when I was offered one. I met some super cool kids from Taiwan and joined them for dinner with some live reggae music, then made a boy from Delhi help me find my hotel, followed by aforementioned fence climbing. Also, the ABC extra stout beer I tracked down at a grocery store is as close to a Guinness or Rogue as I could dream in this country. So yes, the day turned out OK. Now what awaits me is likely an hour long walk to the airport tomorrow (maybe two hours if I get lost again, FML) because of the strike! We will cross that bridge and dusty roads when we get there. Good night!