I spent a good part of today and yesterday (welcome to Nepal, home of the 6 day volunteer work week) cutting grass and poking at sand and loose plants in the rock with a stick. I'm sure this is exactly what my father intended when he helped me pay for my Ivy League education.
Do you sense a hint of bitterness? Nooooo, I'm having a grand time being in the outdoors. In between helping Harry and Laura this afternoon, I had a good two hours hanging out at the top of a climb, watching the sun set over the lake, observing how much easier it is becoming for me to clear my mind after a whole 19 days of more-or-less pathetic attempts to meditate for 15 minutes every morning. And you know what? It's paying off a whole lot.
I could feel it in yoga class, when for once I could focus on my breathing at least briefly before my mind was somewhere else. I can feel it when it becomes so much more natural for my brain to enter the focused, relaxed, detached stage when I am looking at a gorgeous view. Watching the sunset today, I tried to think about it, but I had no words (thoughts), so I just <i>observed</i>. And I COULD just observe!
Matthiessen struggles with relinquishing the "I" throughout The Snow Leopard. I cannot say that I felt like there was no I, but the ever-present I felt much more at peace and happy just.. observing, being somewhere, revolving in a world of beauty and sounds and trees and sunsets, than I am used to experiencing.
So there, I am learning a lot. And this* is all part of the learning. If you want to know the side note on the asterisk, you'll just have to email me.
Suparatri!
Do you sense a hint of bitterness? Nooooo, I'm having a grand time being in the outdoors. In between helping Harry and Laura this afternoon, I had a good two hours hanging out at the top of a climb, watching the sun set over the lake, observing how much easier it is becoming for me to clear my mind after a whole 19 days of more-or-less pathetic attempts to meditate for 15 minutes every morning. And you know what? It's paying off a whole lot.
I could feel it in yoga class, when for once I could focus on my breathing at least briefly before my mind was somewhere else. I can feel it when it becomes so much more natural for my brain to enter the focused, relaxed, detached stage when I am looking at a gorgeous view. Watching the sunset today, I tried to think about it, but I had no words (thoughts), so I just <i>observed</i>. And I COULD just observe!
Matthiessen struggles with relinquishing the "I" throughout The Snow Leopard. I cannot say that I felt like there was no I, but the ever-present I felt much more at peace and happy just.. observing, being somewhere, revolving in a world of beauty and sounds and trees and sunsets, than I am used to experiencing.
So there, I am learning a lot. And this* is all part of the learning. If you want to know the side note on the asterisk, you'll just have to email me.
Suparatri!
No comments:
Post a Comment