I just got my MS diploma and could very well be done with school forever if I want to be. I'm off to a 10 day trip to Cambrils, a beach town near Barcelona, followed by a 6 week tour of Australia's eastern coast and north central national parks. After that I'll be back to San Francisco -- quite possibly the best city in the world, to live with awesome people and start a full time job that I'm really excited about.
Yet I was bawling my eyes out at the airport.
What gives???
I am getting way too comfortable in the Bay Area, and I'm not entirely sure how this happened and what it means. Baz Lurhmann once said in his famous sunscreen speech that you should live in California once, but leave before it makes you soft. It's just so GOOD that I feel antsy going anywhere else in comparison.
But no, that's not it. I love getting dirty and uncomfortable and pushing myself and exploring new places. I thrive on change, yet in between change I fall so in love with the present that I'm resistant to give it up in the next moment. Buddha would NOT approve!
Take that and pair it with the fact that I did so much growing up at Stanford. I decided to come here in a more fully formed way than being sent off to play student in a college dorm for 4 years, did a lot of emotional work, got myself a big kid job. It seems so abrupt to leave a place where so much learning has happened because that means accepting that the learning is done and now I'm supposed to be fully equipped to apply my knowledge out there in the world. But wait! I feel like I JUST finally opened my mind and started learning things. I don't necessarily have more questions, but this chapter involved some major transformations in emotional maturity and I think I'll be living out their aftermath for a long time. I also feel like I could stay planted right where I am and continue thinking, learning, and changing, and I don't need to distance myself from all things familiar to initiate that process.
Take THAT and pair it with the fact that I built a great network here full of wonderful people to whom I can turn for support, so shouldn't I just hang out all summer and continue to solidify my family and friend relationships and enjoy the wonderful benefits?
But hey, one of the main things there is to know about life is that timing is always a little bitch so ready or not, I will take this vacation, be grateful for it, and live my face off!!
Yet I was bawling my eyes out at the airport.
What gives???
I am getting way too comfortable in the Bay Area, and I'm not entirely sure how this happened and what it means. Baz Lurhmann once said in his famous sunscreen speech that you should live in California once, but leave before it makes you soft. It's just so GOOD that I feel antsy going anywhere else in comparison.
But no, that's not it. I love getting dirty and uncomfortable and pushing myself and exploring new places. I thrive on change, yet in between change I fall so in love with the present that I'm resistant to give it up in the next moment. Buddha would NOT approve!
Take that and pair it with the fact that I did so much growing up at Stanford. I decided to come here in a more fully formed way than being sent off to play student in a college dorm for 4 years, did a lot of emotional work, got myself a big kid job. It seems so abrupt to leave a place where so much learning has happened because that means accepting that the learning is done and now I'm supposed to be fully equipped to apply my knowledge out there in the world. But wait! I feel like I JUST finally opened my mind and started learning things. I don't necessarily have more questions, but this chapter involved some major transformations in emotional maturity and I think I'll be living out their aftermath for a long time. I also feel like I could stay planted right where I am and continue thinking, learning, and changing, and I don't need to distance myself from all things familiar to initiate that process.
Take THAT and pair it with the fact that I built a great network here full of wonderful people to whom I can turn for support, so shouldn't I just hang out all summer and continue to solidify my family and friend relationships and enjoy the wonderful benefits?
But hey, one of the main things there is to know about life is that timing is always a little bitch so ready or not, I will take this vacation, be grateful for it, and live my face off!!
No comments:
Post a Comment